I can't think of a good reason anyone would spend money on this shirt, let alone wear it in front of another human. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Speaking of strokes, if you enjoy seeing your significant other getting stroked by a third party, then you probably have low self-worth and should wear this shirt because you are a sniveling little soy boy beta cuck with a smol pp. Buy the shirt, cucky.

Do you inspire people? Do you aspire to inspire people? Would a group of fool follow you blindly off of a cliff? This shirt is just the fit! With the words “Cult Leader” written on the front of this shirt, people will know that you’re the man (or woman) with the plan to take humanity to the next level. But, you can’t do it without the shirt.

Does your physical and mental health take a backseat in the quality of your human experience? Are you drawn to toxicity? Perhaps you wish to encourage every unhealthy decision you witness made by others. This depressingly funny T-Shirt will help you do just that. Spread the quasi-subliminal message, “Don’t Quit Smoking” from Depressing T-Shirts.

There comes a point in everyone’s life when they are faced with failure. Failures come in all shapes, and sizes, in all frequencies. As the proprietor of a failing depressing t-shirt business, I can tell you that sometimes, it isn’t even worth the effort. Why persist? If the motivation or incentive doesn’t exist, why bother? Even with the incentive, is it even worth it?

This T-Shirt will encourage and motivate those around you to abandon their hopes, dreams and aspirations. It says, “Don’t Try” on the front.

This shirt is meant to encourage doubt. It repeats the word “doubt” in a pattern that the viewer might perceive as a tunnel. I guess the message is, “see where your doubt can take you”. You may find yourself enlightened. You may find yourself depressed. We don’t really care where your doubt takes you. All we want to help you do is find your doubt, and remind others that doubt is an option.

The Bible is loaded with dark moments, bizarre reasoning and questionable outcomes. Sometimes, it’s just weird. Every now and again, it hits you with something perverse that you can’t unread. This shirt highlights one of those moments. It just says “Ezekiel 23:20”.

Ezekiel 23 is about the Two Adulterous Sisters. Verse 20 really paints a picture of how adulterous one of them was. There are many translations to the bible, but the verse generally reads this way:

Ezekiel 23:20
“There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses”.

This Depressing T-Shirt depicts a silhouetted male figure sitting cross-legged both hands at his knees throwing up his middle fingers. He is immersed in seven circles, with the base of each going through a supposed chakra. In the top circle it reads, “Fuck Your Chakras”

Within the circles there is a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche reading, “It is a self-deception of philosophers and moralists to imagine that they escape decadence by opposing it. That is beyond their will; and, however little they acknowledge it, one later discovers that they were among the most powerful promoters of decadence.”

Have you ever stopped to think that this planet simply does not have the resources to sustain human life indefinitely? The population is only growing as is the demand for food. Our food and water supply is dwindling. In the event of an inevitable food crisis, should we decided to not turn cannibal, we will be forced to resort to less desirable food options. Luckily, with world is in no short supply of roaches.

This shirt depicts a cockroach on a gourmet-styled, round frame with the words “Future Food” written beneath it. Guaranteed to gross-out anyone you come across.

There is no god and you know it. “God is fiction”. That’s what the shirt says. Wearing this shirt in public might take guts, but it will serve as a stoic reminder to others that our experience, just like the observable universe, is finite in terms time. We’re all going to die and there is no afterlife. Let other’s contemplate this reality by casually observing this depressing t-shirt. Wear with caution.

We at Depressing TShirts believe that all brands of religiosity are a toxic and detrimental lie, spreading like sickness from generation to generation. What’s even worse than the religions themselves are the cinematic atrocities that they produce. The entire lexicon is a circle jerk siphoning millions of dollars from the faith flock, and as profiteers of mild nihilistic ideas on T-shirts, we can empathize with industries making money on bad ideas through mediocre outlets. This shirt is our response to our fellow proliferators of falsehoods and generally negative ideologies. It reads, “God’s Not Dead JK #YOLO”

Are you optimistic about the future? Do you have faith that things will work out for the better? Well, that’s stupid and this shirt isn’t for you. Let everyone around you know that their thoughts, prayers, wishes, hopes and dreams are nothing more than an unrealistic fantasy with this fantastically blunt T-Shirt reading, “Hope is Irrational”. It’s guaranteed to impose a reminder the harsh reality that everything we know is spiraling towards oblivion.

Let them know how you feel wherever you are. This shirt works great in all sorts of context: whether dragged to a party where everyone sucks, or you're having dinner with the inlaws. Practically any situation you don't care to be involved in, this shirt conveys your discontent in a frank, bold, and straightforward manner. It simply reads, "I hate this." 

This is our most depressing T-Shirt yet and is truly not for the faint of heart. If your chin isn’t the only thing you have a hard time keeping up, then this shirt may be good for you. It simply reads “impotent” on the front. Please report back to us with your experiences wearing this damning garment.

The country is the most divided that it’s been in years. We are split on ideologies, politics, religions and beliefs. As of the writing of this description, the United States is currently being run by a thin-skinned billionaire con artist. Britain has walked away from the E.U. Separatism is on the rise. It’s as though civilization is being run off a cliff.

While we’ve no qualms with whatever direction humanity takes (ultimately, nothing matters), we aren’t reluctant to acknowledge with sad state of affairs. That’s why we made this shirt that says “Livin’ In Dystopia”. To some, this shirt will probably come off as a wee-bit hyperbolic. So, please wear with caution.

Given the foreseeable infiniteness of the ever-expanding universe which itself is also doomed to die in a cooling that is unfathomable to the minds of mere mortals such as ourselves, it seems only safe to assume that the finite timeline of a given creature in any species is inconsequential to the grand scale and spanning of existence. No lives matter. Not one of them. Nothing is forever and the least of these is human life and consciousness.

Let everyone in your blip of existence understand this by sporting a shirt that conveys this idea. The shirt says, “No lives matter” and it’s true. This isn’t a political commentary. It’s a mere statement of fact. Get over yourself.

Ever the life of the party, you’ve earn a reputation of infamy. Getting passed the gate keepers it seems is harder and harder. Own it. People don’t like you. If the extra-terrestrials were to need a mammalian specimen, they would likely choose something or someone else rather than you.

This shirt has a picture of a UFO abducting a cow as a father and their child witness the event. Above the image are the words, “Persona Non Grata”, because the aliens are smart enough to avoid humanity.

I think many of us can agree that true, frank and honest discourse has taken a backseat while tribalism and intellectually dishonest narratives are driving civilization off of a cliff. And, while ultimately nothing matters, we do mourn for the days when bullshit was not so omnipresent in our society; days when opinions were somewhat informed, and folks were a bit more receptive towards data and information that didn’t necessarily get along well with their world view. Did those days ever truly exist? I digress…

If you recognize that rationality is a thing of the past, then wear this shirt to commemorate when discourse did not dissolve into the reductive meme culture of current. This beautiful shirt says “Reason Is Dead” on the front. May it inspire conversations that are worth having.

Ruin the holidays for little kids and parents alike! You are a conveyor of truth, a holder of the light. Let the kids know that Santa isn't real. Let them know that those presents under the tree aren't from the jolly old fat guy dressed in red. Let them know their god is a lie! Your eyes are open! You're so woke! Good for you!

This shirt is great for the Holidays. It has a picture of the fictitious Saint Nick with the words, "Santa Isn't Real Nor Is Jesus #woke." 

This shirt is hilarious. Please don't pretend that it's not.

You are the opposite of pimp. You are a simp. You are doting to the degree that is sickening and unattractive. But you can't help it. It's as though you are entirely devoted to putting that special someone on a pedestal just for them to reject you over and over. Stop resenting them and acknowledge what you are with this "Simp" shirt. It'll be like putting up a flag that will attract hotties that are eager to take advantage of you. 

Are you hung like a raisin? Own it! And, what better way to manage the expectations of your next hot date than with a shirt that boldly states that you're packing a Vienna Sausage in your trousers? Let the world know! Take pride in it! Have the undeniably bold confidence it takes to be honest with yourself and with others. The shirt says "Smol PP (Very Smol)." Your would-be lover will be thrilled to know that the next sexcapade will be oral-centric. Got get em, Short Stack!